Fear, Faith: Navigating Hope

Integrating Fear, Faith, and Fun in Pediatric Cancer Care

When a child’s name and cancer appear on the same page, the flood of emotions is overwhelming. Fear comes first. Is my child going to die? Faith jumps in to scream, Why my child? I need your help, God! The thought of fun vanishes in the blink of an eye. In this article, we will discuss the rollercoaster ride parents face with a cancer diagnosis in the family.

Fear

Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.  It does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.

Common Fears for Parents

• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of treatment
• Fear of side effects
• Fear of disease progression
• Fear of decreased life expectancy and death
• Fear of financial insecurity
• Fear of dysfunctional family coping mechanisms

As a parent, we have internal fears, the ones that we don’t want to say out loud. Did I do something to cause my child’s cancer? Did I miss something that I should have seen? I feel guilty about how I have treated my child, and now they are sick. This constant nagging guilt that it was somehow within your control to prevent your child’s illness, followed by how this illness will impact your other children. The exhausting, mask-inducing need to try to explain to friends and family how everything is good even though it’s not. This is emotionally and physically devastating.

Strategies for Coping with Fear

Set boundaries

It is natural for friends and extended family to want to discuss what your family is going through. The experiences of others can be an energy thief. What may be well-meaning may be nothing more than unnecessary scary stories. Allow yourself the space to process this life-changing diagnosis without interruptions. Designate a single person to share updates, which can help conserve your energy. Don’t hesitate to express your needs during this time.

Connect with others in a similar situation

Those on the same journey often understand the various aspects of the disease, treatment, and the emotional hurdles that arise. This connection can foster a sense of community and support, helping you feel less isolated. The Sassy Carmen Foundation is dedicated to relieving the daily stresses of families affected by pediatric cancer.

Learn as much as possible about your child’s disease

Gathering information from reliable sources is crucial. Sometimes, we don’t want to know what is ahead. “Ignorance is bliss.” In this case, however, “Knowledge is power.”  Medical terminology may look like a foreign language, but your care team can help break down the information you have researched into terms that are more easily understood. Keep a notebook to organize all medical records and your child’s diagnosis information. Write down all questions and concerns to share with your care team. Consider recording your visits with the care (with their permission) for later reference.

Take a break

Prioritizing self-care is essential for your well-being and ability to care for your child. Take time for yourself, whether watching a movie, exercising, or resting. Sassy Carmen offers The Buddy System, which matches families with a reliable volunteer who provides support during the child’s treatment, including assistance with chores, errands, emotional support, meals, and skincare guidance.

Create a new normal

In the initial weeks after a diagnosis, your family routine may shift significantly. Your child may be receiving treatment in a hospital while you try to delegate responsibilities at home. Even though you may not have control over many aspects of the situation, it’s essential to establish some new routines, however small. These routines can provide you, your child, and your family with stability amidst the uncertainty. Reach out to Sassy Carmen to help fill those gaps and missing pieces!!

Probably the biggest takeaway is that fear is an inevitable part of life. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.”

Faith

Faith is not belief without proof but trust without reservation.

It has been said that fear and faith cannot occupy the same space. Hmmm, what does that mean exactly? For many, their faith is rooted in God; for others, this is not their experience. It can be helpful to imagine another entity, like the universe or our creator. The purpose of this is to be able to take what we are trying so hard to control and relinquish it to a power greater than ourselves. When we can turn our lives over to God, we regain the ability to be present in the day.

When we look ahead, especially with cancer, we look ahead in fear, imagining the worst; rarely do we acknowledge that God will be in our journey always. If we carry God, within us, it may not change anything, but at the same time, it changes everything. Faith helps us to face challenges with a sense of peace. We often draw inspiration from those who have endured significant difficulties, as their faith can offer us comfort and strength.

Looking ahead in fear looks a lot different than looking ahead with faith. “Don’t borrow sorrow from tomorrow” reminds us not to let our worries about the future overshadow the present. We can maintain joy and peace despite adversity by focusing on the moment.

How to nurture spiritual health:

• Prayer and meditation
• Music
• Deep breathing
• Relaxation
• Look for goodness in the small things
• Practice gratitude

When we can fully immerse ourselves in the present moment, we step away from our mental chatter and connect deeply with our spiritual selves. This simple practice can ease stress, enhance our well-being, and ultimately, nurture our spiritual development.

Fun

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

It has been said that laughter is the best medicine. Even during the most fraught times, we are allowed to laugh. Not only can we permit ourselves to laugh, but levity is also a beneficial friend in cancer treatment. Finding joy during difficult times can be achieved through shifting your perspective, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that promote well-being. It involves focusing on the present moment, finding gratitude for what you have, and cultivating resilience.

• Play – we all have a child inside; children need us to play, laugh, touch, and find joy in the little things along the way. As your child’s ability changes, look for alternative activities.
• Embrace the present– Focus on the day your family is having. Include activities that reflect your energy level, such as watching a movie, going on an outdoor adventure, engaging in arts and crafts, or taking an outing with friends.
• Create cherished moments – Sassy Carmen’s “Creating Memories” program prioritizes laughter, love, and enriching experiences, such as “Just-Because” parties, Imagination and Play, and family photo shoots.
• Incorporate old and new friends alike– joys shared are doubled, sorrow shared is halved!!! Plan social activities with your child’s peers, family outings, or staycations. Please keep it simple and find fun in every corner. Many bonds are created in treatment settings, and those bonds are unique; embrace those, too.
• Enjoy Nature-easy hikes, collecting leaves, identifying trees, throwing rocks in a stream, and counting the stars.
• Explore a creative activity: make slime, create canvas art, write a story, create a vision board, and play games.

Conclusion

The rollercoaster ride ends with the realization that families face this challenging journey with incredible strength, finding moments of laughter, faith, and navigating uncertainty. Although cancer presents numerous challenges, it also reveals an abundance of love, resilience, and the strength of hope. Ultimately, it’s not merely about surviving but discovering light in even the darkest moments.

References

How to cope if your child has cancer. (n.d.) Retrieved 05/09/2025 from cancer.org. https://www.cancer.org/cancer/childhood-cancer/for-parents.html

Emotions and Cancer. (n.d.) Retrieved on 5/5/2025 from cancer.gov. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/feelings#:~:text=You%20may%20be%20afraid%20or,taking%20care%20of%20your%20family

Bach (2024) Coping with Anxiety, Worries, and Fears as a Family.  Retrieved 5/8/2025 from oncolink.org. https://www.oncolink.org/cancers/pediatric/practical-emotional-and-development-concerns/coping-with-anxiety-worries-and-fears-as-a-family

Dollahite et al. (2023). From Struggle to Strength: Adversity in Religious Families. Retrieved 5/5/2025 from Publicsquaremag.org. https://publicsquaremag.org/faith/american-families-of-faith/adversity-families-role-spirituality/

Chalos (n.d.) Afloat in an Ocean of Impossible: Caring for a Chronically Ill Child Without Losing Hope. Retrieved from https://cumberlandhospital.com/afloat-in-an-ocean-of-impossible-caring-for-a-chronically-ill-child-without-losing-hope/

Wilkins (2023) Deepening Your Spiritual Connection: Easy Ways to Connect with Your Spiritual Side and Find Inner Peace.  Retrieved from https://www.femigod.com/deepening-your-spiritual-connection-easy-ways-to-connect-with-your-spiritual-side-and-find-inner-peace/#:~:text=A%3A%20The%20top%2010%20ways,%2Dminded%20people%2C%20practicing%20gratitude%2C

10 Easy ways to connect with your spiritual side. (2021) Retrieved from Connecttothecore.com. https://www.connecttothecore.com/blog/10-easy-ways-to-get-in-touch-with-your-spiritual-side

McBride, G. (2019). What’s the Benefit of Finding Joy amid Adversity (n.d.). PsychologyToday.com. Retrieved 05/09/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-weight-ing-game/201903/what-s-the-benefit-finding-joy-in-the-midst-adversity

Ten Boom, C. (n.d. Quotes by Corrie Ten Boom. Retrieved 05/10/2025 from BrainyQuotes.com.  https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/corrie-ten-boom-quotes

Coping with a diagnosis of cancer in children. (n.d.). Retrieved 05/10/2025 from stanfordchildrens.org. https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=coping-with-a-diagnosis-of-cancer-in-children-90-P02723